On New Years Eve 2015, I spent my night in Sydney. I had been invited along with my friends to a party right under the Harbour Bridge. As the sun set upon the Harbour I had a moment to myself. I wondered 'Why am I still in a desk job? I know this isn't what I should be doing, but what choice do I have?' I realised the choice was ultimately mine. Why was I stopping myself from doing what I actually wanted to do?
I applied to film school on a new years whim, and now my life has taken a turn for the better. I look back at all my choices before and I can see they were all pointing towards film. I did a journalism course, because I loved telling stories. I got a marketing job in social media, because I love telling stories. I'm studying at film school because I love telling stories. That part of me has never changed and I doubt it will.
My unhappiness in my career was easily fixed. I needed more creative work. My marketing jobs stifled my mind and I ended up resenting them, even though they were great roles. It wasn't until I arrived at film school, that I realised this was where I needed to be. I had been avoiding the thought of being a full-time creative because I was scared. I didn't understand the industry that I wanted to be a part of and this really discouraged me. I needed to learn about it.
I've only been in film school for about a month and a half and I've noticed a huge change in myself. I didn't think I could be this happy and content with my life. I have little to no money and I'm truly enjoying myself. What I lacked before was a stimulus. I love learning and I love film. I may not have seen every film that is referenced, but I'm keen to start watching.
Around this time last year I was just about to move my life to Melbourne. Now I'm in Sydney studying film. I've traveled to the UK and I've grown up a lot. Moving out of my hometown was so hard, but I wouldn't be so happy now if I didn't make that choice. I've had so many amazing experiences in the last year that I wouldn't have dreamed of doing before.
If you're on the fence about making a choice for yourself, I say do it. If it's truly what you want, you'll do everything in your power to make it work for you. All you need to do is have faith in your decision and the rest is simple.
, by Carmen Smith